OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I bet he comes in French.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize