Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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