Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
