bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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