Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All I want is dick and wine.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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