So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
