Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
