a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
What a dumb baby whore.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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