it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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