It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I currently don't understand fingers.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
