the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
