His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
