its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
