If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Can i not drive my cunt home
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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