she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
