let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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