Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
