Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
