Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
