I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
