And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Let's get the cat blown out
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
