Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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