Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
