I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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