Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
