he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
