i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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