We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
