The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
