We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
