It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
