your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This is the high leading the old right now
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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