i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
