the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
