Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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