i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
