could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
