Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
