wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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