So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
