You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
