I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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