We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
