I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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