Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
