I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
