so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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