his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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