what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
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