She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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