Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
