I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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