My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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