He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
