Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
