I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
