Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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