We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
