This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
