I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
