Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
God, I missed his penis.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
