He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
